Your Family: How It Works
Luke 2:41-52 5/8/11
The Church of the Wayfarer
Dr. Norm Mowery, Pastor
Family. There is no word in the English language that brings up more feelings, both positive and negative, than the word family.
Families come in all sizes and shapes.
There is no perfect family.
Even Jesus’ family was not perfect.
I think that we are just beginning to realize the great influence that our ‘families of origin’ have had on us.
Have you heard of a list called “Murphy’s Laws of Parenting?”
1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the nextmorning.
2. The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.
3. Toys multiply to fill any space available.
4. If the shoe fits . . . it’s expensive.
5. Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.
I saw a Mother’s Day card this week that reads like this: “Forget the housework, Mom. It’s your day.” And then you open it, “Besides, you can always do double duty and catch up on Monday!”
A group of children were asked, “If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?” 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it, not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
I must confess that the Mowery family is not perfect and I was not and am not a perfect parent.
I will never forget one mistake I made as a parent. We were hiking on the eastern side of the Pinnacles National Monument. It was a hot afternoon. We were not carrying water. The four of us hiked up through the lava tubes. We didn’t have flash lights to find our way through the dark caves.
After we got to the top Nathan and Lori thought that it was a great adventure and wanted to hike back down through the caves—alone— without Mom and Dad.
My thinking was that we needed to show them that we trusted them—that we believed they could do it. Linda, the reasonable one in our family, said that she wasn’t so sure about them going alone. I insisted that we let them do it.
Needless to say, it was a long hike down for Linda and me going another way and letting the children go alone back through the dark tubes. When we got down the children were not there and I was scared to death.
I made other mistakes as a parent, too.
As a child I was taught that if I got in a fight at school I would be in double trouble at home.
That is the rule I made for my children, too. The problem is that at one school Nathan was bullied. I didn’t realize what had happened and instead of supporting Nathan I punished him. Not only did he get bullied by a bully at school; he got punished by me at home.
That’s enough of my mistakes. My children could tell you more!
The life of a mother is a deluge of self-imposed demands:
Write thank-you letters...
Buy new ballet leotard for daughter (blue, not pink) ... Return call from sister...
Baby sitter Saturday/Wednesday,
Pay newspaper bill/read back issues of newspapers,
Trim son’s nails...
Dentist appointment...
Return Snow White video to library...
Be a nicer, more patient person with my daughter, so she doesn’t grow up to be a needy psychopath.
It’s Mother’s Day, and the story of Jesus in the temple gives us a glimpse into the chaotic family life of Mary, Joseph and the child they accidentally leave behind.
Luke is the only gospel writer to include a story about Jesus’ childhood. But it is more. It is a story about a parent’s worst nightmare: losing a child.
As a mom, the Mary of our text is not much different than Moms today. She, too, has a long list in her head to take back to Nazareth from Jerusalem. With the festival of the Passover now over, her mind races ahead to washing ... cleaning ...
Wait a minute: caring for children? Where’s Jesus? Mary doesn’t know it yet, but son Jesus is ‘home alone’ in Jerusalem. The family is now a day away from Jerusalem. No wonder Mary panics when she cannot find Jesus among the friends and relatives. She and Joseph had assumed he was in the group, but when he doesn’t turn up they race back to the city, their hearts pounding like jackhammers. Mary imagines herself being hauled before “The Court of Motherhood.”
For Mary feelings of shame sweep over her as she thinks about forgetting Jesus. How could she have failed to check on him before leaving the city? She knows that she is, the Mother of God.
And now God is, missing! How big is that!
We think that we have crises. She’s lost God! She has no idea where God is and it is her motherly duty to find him. How could she not know where her 12-year-old son is? Mothers are supposed to know that kind of thing!
It takes Mary and Joseph three days to find their son, and when they do he is in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions.
Mary is overwhelmed by a mixture of astonishment, relief and anger, and she says to him, “Child, why have you treated us like this? Look, your father and I have been searching for you and we were really worried.” We can understand why she snaps at a boy who wanders off from the family. We can relate to her frustration with a kid who sits around the temple for three days, acting as though nothing is wrong, while she and Joseph are overwhelmed by feelings of helplessness, anxiety, and fear.
But that’s not the end of the story. The real value of today’s passage is found in the words of Jesus, not Mary.
“Why were you searching for me?” asks Jesus.
“Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?”
This is a reminder that the true family of Jesus is bigger than the nuclear grouping made up of Mary, Joseph, Jesus, James and the other siblings. The most important family for all of us to consider is the far-reaching family of God. The parenting years go by so quickly.
One day they’re saying all those funny little things you promise yourself you’ll write down and never do, and then they’re talking like some streetwise kid or, even worse, they’re talking just like you.
So as parents, let go, have faith, loosen up, trust God and waste time!
Most of all listen to the children. As I prepared for this message I sent emails to several women in our church asking for their feelings about Mother’s Day.
Alice Ann Glenn responded,
“You do NOT have to birth a child to be a parent. It DOES take a village to raise our children and youth and that is what the church family is all about--raising children IN THE FAITH!
Corinne McCord wrote, “As a woman I look forward to Mother's Day. It's like an extra birthday. I have great memories. Being a single Mom for 10 years I learned to buy myself flowers on this day.”
“My Mom is my inspiration too. Growing up, she had $250 every two weeks to do food shopping for 6 people. She taught me that my actions were my actions and I was held responsible for them.
“My Mom's family is Polish descent.
So Crying, Food, Hugs and Kisses are a part of my life.
Someone dies-- bring them food and sit and have a cup of tea. Someone is happy-- bring food and cheer with them.
Someone is having a problem--make them food and drink wine, talk it though.”
“Being in the military, I don't always get to be with my Mom. I love her and miss her.”
Alison Estep writes, “I love celebrating Mother's Day....
As a kid my mother was always there for me making us girls feel secure.
After school in the afternoon my mom would always greet me when I got off of the bus.
My mom would always have a special treat for my friends and I...when my mother told me she was going to be there, do something she would always follow thru.
My mother always had our best interest at heart. I always felt loved, safe & secure.”
Leisel Iverson who recently lost her Mom says, “My family is a matriarchal family. Not that the fathers and grandfathers aren't equally important but my memories of my Mom, Grammy and Grandma are of women standing at the center of their families, keeping everyone and everything happy, thriving and moving.”
“I know that I wouldn't be the woman I am today without Mom. From Mom, I learned how to manage a household, nurture a loving family, maintain a happy marriage, be a wonderful Mom and a loving daughter and sister, strive to shape the world into a better place and be the kind of friend people cherish.”
Leisel concludes, “Mother's Day is a day of mixed emotion for me.”
Jean Baker says, “I don't have feelings one way or another about Mother's Day. My mother has been gone for many years.
As far as being a mother myself, “I often wish I could start over. Knowing what I know now, and watching the way our children deal with their families, I wish I could go back and change some of the things I did.”
A woman who wished to remain anonymous responded, “I was an only child and although my mother was wonderful and caring, she could also be critical and so my childhood memories are worried nights of tossing and turning.”
Another says, “As a mother whose daughter died, Mother’s Day is always hurt to me. My daughter would always go way out for Mother’s Day. It’s hard to put into words the feeling after losing a child. I know I feel failure and disappointment. I always get upset, but I know I am strong with the love of God.”
Your family: how it works?
It works like Jesus family. Healthy families have:
Rituals—going up to Jerusalem annually
Surprises—a child was lost
Worry—they looked for Jesus
Anger—“Child how could you do this to us?”
Listening—Mary and Joseph listened to Jesus
Poor communication—Obviously Mary and Joseph hadn’t communicated
Obedience—Jesus went with them
Growth—Jesus grew wise
That’s how your family works!
A Mother’s Prayer
If I live in a house of spotless beauty with everything in its place, but have not love, I am a housekeeper--not a homemaker.
If I have time for waxing, polishing, and decorative achievements, but have not love, my children learn cleanliness - not godliness.
Love leaves the dust in search of a child's laugh.
Love smiles at the tiny fingerprints on a newly cleaned window.
Love wipes away the tears before it wipes up the spilled milk. Love picks up the child before it picks up the toys.
Love is present through the trials. Love reprimands, reproves, and is responsive.
Love crawls with the baby, walks with the toddler, runs with the child, then stands aside to let the youth walk into adulthood.
Love is the key that opens life’s message to a child's heart. Before I became a mother I took glory in my house of perfection. Now I glory in God's perfection of my child.
As a mother, there is much I must teach my child, but the greatest of all is love.
