Stories of Love & Loss ~ Strained Relationships; March 20, 2011

Stories of Love and Loss—Strained Relationships The Church of the Wayfarer Dr. Norm Mowery, Pastor March 20, 2011 Genesis 32:22-32 This is the second in a series of seven messages I am giving for the Lenten Season. These messages begin with first-person presentations based on the lives of persons in the Hebrew Scriptures. Today we met Jacob. After the presentations the scripture is read followed by the message. Last Sunday Abraham said that one of the most difficult things in life is to pull up stakes not knowing where we are going. I found that to be very true this week. Nine of us had planned to have a Silent Lenten Retreat at Big Sur only to find out that part of Highway 1 had fallen into the ocean! God was calling us to retreat but we could not get there. I have a confession to make. Linda and I were both going to be silent but since we couldn’t go to the Hermitage we stayed home and did our taxes. Last Sunday we saw that Abraham went on a journey not knowing where he was going and God blessed him so that he would be a blessing. The poet, James Thurber, once said, “All men must learn before they die, what they are running from…..and to…..and why.” That quote applies to Jacob as he wrestles with God—very probably an experience familiar to what some are feeling here this morning. When daylight begins to break, the mysterious wrestler tries to leave, but Jacob holds on. Like the stubborn newborn holding his brother's heel, Jacob holds on. Jacob says, "I will not let you go until you bless me." And the Lord responds, saying, "What is your name?" Anybody here who has walked through a dark night of the soul, ever been afraid to turn their face toward home, or found themselves in a wrestling match with God, can identify with this man by the name of Jacob. Lets us take a closer look at this struggle in the night. He struggled with a strained relationship he had with his brother Esau. Some of us struggle with strained relationships. I know what strained relationships are first hand. Last Sunday I said that my mother had to go to a nursing home but we didn’t know which one. That’s a journey of pulling up stakes but not knowing where it’s going. This week the seven of my mother’s children had to make a decision as to what is best for Mom. That is a challenge especially when all seven of us live in different states. This week’s communication resulted in some strained relationships. Jacob was left to struggle alone. Such times of solitude call us to introspection, evaluation, and alteration. One of my favorite writers is Henri Nouwen. In one of his last writings he says, “I found myself in a hospital following a car accident. At first I thought it was nothing. Then I was told I was bleeding internally and might not live. Surprisingly, I found the threat of death to be peaceful beyond my understanding. It was when I woke up and discovered myself still alive in this world, that I became restless. In my days of recovery, I discovered I had some unfinished business of the soul. There were certain people I still hadn’t forgiven. There were deep confessions I had hesitated to make.” Suddenly in the night, someone seizes Jacob from behind, and slams him to the ground in a bitter struggle for life. Harold Kushner says this stranger in the night is none other than the conscience of Jacob calling him to accountability. A life of deceit, denial, and duplicity is finally doing him in. Here, alone on the muddy banks of the Jabbok River, he has to face himself. I believe someone besides himself had Jacob in a headlock that night. Jacob is wrestling with none other than God. Jacob wants a blessing. God wants a new person. Back and forth they struggle through the night. The stranger says in the night, “What is your name?” Jacob says, “My name is Jacob.” The trickster, lier, grabber, heel. “My name is Jacob. My father did not like me. My brother cannot stand me. My mother sent me away.” “What is your name?” “My name is Jacob. If I cannot be loved, at least I’ll be in control.” “What is your name?” “My name is Jacob!” Driven, deceitful, successful, powerful, lonely, afraid. Jacob was not very proud of his name. I wonder today if there are some names in your life that you need to abandon? Are there names that have gotten attached to you, but do not belong to you? Like: Dumb, drunk, pest, problem, promiscuous, mean, manipulative, victim. You know the name. If so, I have a new name for you. The stranger in the night said to Jacob, “your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and have overcome. The name Israel meant the straight one, God rules, father of nations, patriarch of people, the blessed of God. I have a new name for you. You see, Israel was not a new label on an old jar, but a new substance in the life and soul of a struggling man. That day, A trickster became a treasure. A heel became a healer. A scoundrel became a saint. Jacob did not need to get back to his old self that morning. He needed to put on a whole new self. We do not need restoration; we need transformation. Your name is no longer Jacob. Your name is Israel. It is something like Bobby trying to become Robert, or Marge trying to become Marjorie, or Dick trying to become Richard. Jacob must have felt weird at first to have taken on this new identity. As he rose that morning to become Israel, the father of all nations, so we must rise to live a life worthy of the name Christian. Jacob is about to be reunited with Esau. What would big brother's reaction be? Have you ever struggled with your conscience at night? Suffered over guilt? Been panicked by fears of the day ahead? Jacob had LOTS of reasons to agonize. In the morning he would be meeting one of them face-to-face. On and on the struggle continued through the night. Now the sun begins to rise. Jacob's antagonist says, "Let me go, for it is daybreak." Who is this nemesis wanting to escape before dawn? Whoever it is, Jacob presumes he is someone beyond the ordinary. He responds, "I will not let you go, unless you bless me." The man asks, "What is your name?" "Jacob." "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and have overcome." Now it is Jacob's turn to ask the name, but no name is given, just a blessing. The unidentified adversary disappears. And the new day dawns. As he reflects on the events of the night, Jacob becomes more and more confident. The more he thinks about it, the more he becomes convinced that his encounter was with the divine. While Jacob wrestled all that long night, he did not know with what he was struggling, he only knew that he would not let go until some good came of it. There value is in the struggle even if we are struggling with God. The classic illustration is the struggle that a butterfly goes through in breaking free from the cocoon. It is difficult to watch, because the temptation is to want to help this poor, squirming creature. But keep your hands off anyway. You see, it is the STRUGGLE that allows the butterfly opportunity to build enough strength to finally be able to fly. Are there struggles for you right now? Business struggles, family struggles, money struggles, faith struggles, personal struggles? Do not give up. The survival of our scoundrel Jacob may offer some consolation and encouragement. Hang in long enough, and a blessing waits at the end. PASTORAL PRAYER FOR ALL AFFECTED BY THE EARTHQUAKE AND TSUNAMI. Lord, we pray not only for those whose lives have been darkened by disaster over recent days, but also for those whose faith has been shaken; for those who stand bewildered and fearful in the midst of tragedy; for the injured, the bereaved, and the destitute. We commend to your grace all who are seeking to help and heal the injured, and to comfort and calm the bereaved. From you alone can come the word that will lift them above their darkness. Answer, O Lord, the questions in their minds; and assure them that though disaster is not of your will, you are present with them in their suffering and sorrow, and can enable them to find purpose, hope and peace again. Most merciful God, in the midst of natural disaster we took to you in hope and trust, acknowledging that there is much in life beyond our present understanding. Accept our compassion for the suffering; bless those who working for their relief; and show us what we can do to share in their task, as servants of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.